Now THAT'S How You Get A Job

Hollywood is a strange place. Only here would I--Ron Jeremy's Dick--have to actually audition for the part of Ron Jeremy's Dick. I remember when I got the breakdown of "One-Eyed Monster" ("Middle-aged penis of porn legend Ron Jeremy; needs to be same length and girth, menacing, SAG only") I thought to myself, I'm PERFECT for this. I AM this.

But they still made me audition. Don't believe it? Check this out, then. The actual audition footage.