Monday, July 13, 2009
Much has been made of late about the sudden resignation of Sarah Palin from her office as governor of Alaska. Honestly, I don't see what all the fuss is about. She was just following the instincts of a porn star. I've been hanging from the most famous one in the world my whole life, and I know a porn star when I see one.
For one thing, she's got some big balls on her. I don't know what Todd's got between his legs, but they couldn't possibly compare to the stones that made this broad think she could win over feminist voters on the sheer coincidence of her vagina.
Her talent in the blowjob department must be Alaskan legend, because how else can you explain getting plucked from obscurity to join the McCain ticket? Then again have you seen Cindy McCain? She looks only slightly less interested in sucking off a dead monkey than John McCain.
Palin's porn character is pretty much stock--she's been playing the dumb gardener/pizza delivery/pool guy. The one who's acting the part of the regular guy--who's just like us, except schooled in the history of head, advanced penetration and cum 101. Only in hardcore movies and Republican fantasies do working people get to transcend their class, fucking the horny, rich women who own the pools and gardens. Palin was effective at creating this illusion with her folksy phrases and hockey mom persona, the wilderness girl off to restore moral authority to the White House if not the nation.
But what truly distinguishes Palin as a singular student of adult film--and the inspiration for today's blog-- is her undeniable ability to pull out at the right time. Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, but guys pull out just before they blow their load because it's important to see the ejaculation, preferably all over someone's face. And that's what's happening now. Sarah Palin pulled out and has unloaded on our national face a Yukon River of spooge. She's been fucking us for almost a year now, and her control has been nothing short of miraculous. But now it's over.
Or is it? We've sucked her and been fucked by her. Pornos are nothing if not predictable, so if my calculations are correct, she's due to give it to us in the ass. 2012 isn't that far away.