Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Forbidden Broadway


I get a lot of inquiries about “Phallus!”, the musical I wrote and starred in back in 1988. Told as a "Beauty and the Beast"-type fable, it was a critical darling but a box office flop, closing after a sold-out dress rehearsal. Here’s the well-known song “My Love, My Heart”, when my character, Dick, finally comes out of the shadows to reveal himself to his true love, Anne.


ANNE

My heart cannot contain this feeling that I feel.
I need to see you now, to know that you are real.
A love like ours is like no other that I know.
Reveal yourself and let your inhibitions go.

My love. My heart. My Dick.


DICK

Oh Anne I fear that when you see me you will leave.
And if it happens that’s a loss I cannot grieve.
A love like ours is like a rainbow in the sky.
So many colors, so much beauty, I could die.

My love. My heart. My Anne.


ANNE

Come out now from the darkness.
And show yourself to me.

DICK

I’m vulnerable and stark, miss.
Prepare your eyes to see!


Dick finally reveals himself to Anne.


ANNE

Good Christ, sir, you’re enormous.
A ten-inch tower of love.

DICK

A quarter of an inch less
But ten when I’m with glove.

ANNE/DICK

I’m sure that you’re the one for me.
And I’m the one for you.

DICK

Your eyes.
Your laugh.

ANNE

Your balls
Your shaft.


DICK

You penetrate my soul.

ANNE

And you my hoo-hoo hole.


DICK

Yes, you’re the one for me, miss.

ANNE

I want no other penis.


ANNE/DICK

My love. My heart. My all!
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