Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Headline News

I don't particularly like it when a black comedian's routine is almost exclusively about the differences between black people and white people. Yes, it's fertile comic ground. Or was. But after Pryor and Murphy that subject is played out. But so many black comedians still take it on. Maybe they think it's expected of them? All by way of saying--I've avoided holding forth on the recent news about HIV in the porn world because it's expected of me to weigh in for obvious reasons. I realize that expounding on the moral hypocrisies and self-righteous "gotcha" hysteria among people who aren't in the business has not really been mined by many--or any--porn star cocks, but still, I generally like to focus on pussy. Yeah yeah, that's expected of me too. I'm the Chris Rock of blogging cocks.

Oh, fine.

One single case of HIV is discovered and it's headline news? Friend, it's only headline news if Lynne Russell has HIV (a reference for followers of hot CNN anchor history. Ah, how many times did RJ fantasize about her pussy while drilling even the most delectable porn star? That woman maintained the expression of someone who was gettin' it in the ass whether she was gettin' it in the ass or reporting about Bosnia or both). One single case! There are HIV cases diagnosed every day! Thousands diagnosed with cancer from smoking, thousands diagnosed with liver disease from drinking or diabetes from obesity! Every fucking day! But news of those illnesses only gets reported as a statistic. One single case of HIV, and all because it's in someone who works in pornos. Not even a porn star! And why? Because everyone needs to judge us. Everyone needs to cluck their tongues and shake their heads in disapproval. Preventable? Sure. But so is lung cancer from smoking, liver disease from drinking and diabetes from obesity. And yes, we do judge those people, but we don't write an article about it.

Look, I'm all for safe sex among civilians. But while RJ may disagree with me, I think wearing a rubber in a porno is no different than having Angelina Jolie wear a catcher's mask all through a movie. We want to see her face. She has a pretty one. We want to see it. If we can't, then the part might as well be played by Martha Plympton. If appearing in a movie without a catcher's mask came with the risk of a terrible infection--which only happens if you're in a scene with Tom Sizemore--then I imagine many actors would get out of the business. But not all of them. Some would realize that the product is what it is and that to compromise its quality for the protection of the talent is to create an inferior product. And watching a condom slide in and out of Jenna J's mouth is simply inferior.

You know, since I mentioned her, I haven't stopped thinking about Lynn Russell. She looked like a young Joan Crawford, but with Lynne you had the sense that she could use her taste for the nasty in very pleasurable ways. It was like watching the news delivered by a $50,000/night hooker. I toast you, Lynne! You put the head in Headline News. Had it been you who reported the HIV story, I've no doubt a barely perceptible smile would have adorned your face, a smile that suggested you were imagining the size of the cock that put the virus into that actress. You never dressed like a slut, which seems to be de rigeur among local LA news shows. No, your sex was in your eyes. You could fuck someone just by looking at them. And on CNN, you looked at all of us. Or was it just me?
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