Tuesday, June 2, 2009

October 15, 1979

Excerpted from my personal journal.

October 15, 1979

Something happened.

Well, actually, it happened a couple of nights ago. It’s taken me some time to recover and be able to write about it. God, where do I begin? I guess, the party.

It was the usual crowd of producers, porn stars, hangers-on. And Ronnie was in rare form. His jokes were the usual stale oldies, but somehow he’d always get the crowd to laugh when he made that popping sound with his hand and mouth.

And of course, everyone wanted to see me, and Ron wasn’t shy about showing them.

One woman was particularly bent on seeing me. Her name is Veronica Hart. Ron says she’s a real up and coming talent and he’s seen a lot of talent coming.

So around midnight, the two of them snuck off to the bathroom. Ron, in his usual soft-spoken romantic way, asked Veronica to blow him.

“Of course I will. If you blow yourself first!”

That made Ron laugh and I have to admit, it made me smile, too. I’m big, but c’mon, was this gorgeous starlet really showing that much disregard for the laws of physics?

But then the laughing stopped, and Ron removed me from his pants. Oh my god no! No, I thought, this cannot be happening. But I was frozen stiff, and unable to move. I’ve certainly penetrated orifices covered in hair before, but Christ that mustache! A giant follicle-covered boomerang descending toward me. And then Ronnie’s mouth opening—I can still see the bits of Cheetos lodged between his teeth.

He’s going to suck me! He’s going to suck me! And then…


He…he sucked me.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I love my man, Ron. I’d be nowhere without him. But this is one place I never should have been.

It was only a few sucks, and afterwards, Veronica asked if she could cut in. But I think this has changed me, and I don’t know what I’m going to say to Ronnie tomorrow. And I’m done with Cheetos.
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